There is no longer passion or excitement in what I do. My spirit and my once inquisitive mind has been broken. Why am I here? Do I even want to do this anymore?
Has anyone else been working towards a goal that they believed in so much only to find that their work was obsolete? That the system they worked for was fundamentally corrupt?
I can’t study. I can’t work. It’s not even a matter of not wanting to work either. I just don’t want to do anything. I have a meeting in an hour and a half and to pass the time I feel like I should watch Netflix or play a game. But I can’t. I don’t want to do anything. All I feel like I can do is stare at the wall until I have to leave. Then go hope and sleep.
I can’t focus. I can’t concentrate on anything. I don’t care about anything. I feel like crying anytime I’m with too many people. The excitement is gone. I think it’s time to do something about this.